This is the note I posted on Facebook on August 27th. I'm posting it seperately/out of chronological order because it is so much longer than the things in the blog post before this one, so please just pretend that it was all done in order, thanks.
Sharp Sharp
In South Africa when you meet someone you show thumbs up, pound it, then press and twist your thumb off of theirs and say "sharp, sharp" (but with their accents it sounds like "shop, shop"). "Sharp" is almost the same as here, for example: after shooting somebody's picture on a digital camera you see it and can say "sharp!" meaning it came out well/"thank you for your time :)"; "Thank you" sounds like a fine mix between the "a" and the "o" in "danky/donky".
Apparently this is what I do: stay up until 3a looking through pictures of a trip that my team just got home from only 19 bizarre days post de-plaining a 36 hour trip back to DIA. This note is me, raw and straight up, being shared at 5 in the morning.
Rustengurg, South Africa was only my "home" for two weeks out of fifty-two in 2010. I haven't even been back in the States for three full weeks yet and I dont think I could be more "home" sick. The bruises on my shins from playing with (and being full on attacked by*) children may have almost faded by now, but I still have some kind of stomach bug and, as of Monday, a relatively minor case of ringworm. Anyobody's first thought would be to wish themselves better, but mine is more along the lines of how blessed I am to only be hit with these things now after being back in Denver and not having to deal with it where there are worse cases than my own, that are in desperate need of treatment that infected individuals cannot pay for.
*Lesson learned from experience: do NOT ever allow yourself to be sitting on the ground playing with 2 - 3 children at the same time 20 more children are dropped off in vans from school. They WILL all over power you - jumping and diving onto your torso or legs, pulling your hair, shirt, and arms, as well as pulling each other's clothes to try to make room for themselves - and you have to call a team mate of yours over for help to stand up but are still out-weighed. With so many young ones seeking love and attention from you, however, the normally simple movement of standing up is complicated by [what feels like] 70% and you are afraid for your life for a minute when you find yourself in a state of: A. needing your own air B. shock at how much children in other countries crave your focus.
I have cleaned through my clothes, closet, boxes, desk, bags and junk almost twice since coming home. I still have too much stuff! I realize that I am an average 20 year old American girl living at home and it is "normal" here to have a good deal of things, but really?
While we were in South Africa, some of the guys on our team built 3 shacks for selected people of the AIDS squatter camp (comminuty) we worked called Freedom Park. The first shack our team built was for a man, his wife, their 2(?) daughters, and little boy who is shy beyond words. I believe the care takers told us that the whole family is HIV positive. The second shack was for a girl who is my age and was just left with her much younger sister and brother (probabally 5 or 6 years old and 3 maybe 4 years old). Their mother recently died, leaving them with each other and the baby boy without pants. Our third shack more team members had a chance to help build because it was in the fence in area next to the garden our 'garden team' dug up for the community to develop. We built this one for a single man who steped up as a voulenteer to keep watch on the garden as it flourishes so nobody breaks in and steals everything at night. We left a bag of food and jug of tap water at each shack when we handed over the keys and prayed as a big group over the families. Every time I think about that day in the middle of the second week of our trip, I am amazed with how people know how to make so much of so little. I wish it were easier to live like that here and stand out in our communities like that.
We all have hypothetically enough energy, time, and food in our kitchens to stay home from school or work for a continual 24 hour period and do nothing but consume it. The children that I got sick from are fed typically once a day + given candy by "the white people" who are complete strangers who gave up a small amount of time to give the kids hugs, a bottle of bubles, a bag of legos, and/or crayons with a blank sheet of paper. Children who do not even know what a T.V. is can draw, color, play, dance, or find any other way to express themselves better than any modern day American 5 year olds that I know.
I have told a few of you that the team that went on this trip last year wrote a beautiful song - called "Lerato" ("Love") about "Peter Pan" & the "Lost Boys." What I have not told all of you is that my favorite lines from the song are the last two of the chorus:
Chorus
So come sail away with me off to the red soil
Step out of your boat and see what I can do
You might think that I’ve called you off to change the world
Maybe it’s the world that’s changing you
(all of the lyrics to the song can be found at http://smithsa.blogspot.com/search/label/Missions%20Teams towards the bottom of the page)
I realize the fact that I cannot do a whole lot to change the world. While in South Africa, through the surreal "culture shell shock" I did realize that I can put ALL of my energy into making a few children a little bit more happy daily regardless of how beat I will be at the end of each day of my "work". Swinging a child around in a circle by their arms for a minute while they are smiling, screaming, and laughing may be one less minute they are thinking about the scene of their shack being broken into and watching their mother/big sister/baby being rapped the night before... Hearing their stories definetaly puts you in your place.
I'm not sure if you can actually see how "home" sick I am. </3
I have a LOT of pictures form this trip up on my photography Facebook account in the albums "Lerato Wena" (1-3) (only visible to friends, so add it!)!! I know better than to expect anyone who made it through this whole note to go look at each picture because you most likely just used up any free time left in your day reading this monsterous note containing SOME of my 5am "home"sick emotions that kept me up tonight. A lot of you have asked me to tell you my stories and even though it may not be the same as me going through the albums with you (due to lack of time and coordination) I have a lot of stories set as captions with those pictures. Take a look, and you may possibly catch a glimps as to why I cried while writing this note. Sharp, sharp!
31 January, 2011
30 January, 2011
Word Association
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 (we got home the night of the 8th).
36 +1/2 hours of travel later, we're home. Sunday night I got home around 8:30 - 9, showered, tried to eat dinner (fresh salad, bratwurst, grilled zucchini), checked facebook, then was "sleeping like a dead person" by 10:40 and didn't wake up once till 6a Monday morning for work [work = CYT summer camp Area Coordinator(talk to parents and keep everything running smooth and give kids band aids, etc]. Yep, the plan was to bounce right back. Hahah. Went to work at 8, talked with Jenni Hoag about the impact of "missionary trip shell shock" regarding the level of poverty in Freedom Park (much less any 3rd world country)(I mentioned the story of the moms pawning off their 3 year olds), I don't think she'd heard that one before, but I don't remember her exact reaction. We also talked about how eager I am to go back, or go somewhere new, to serve. She thinks it's crazy-awesome how much God seems to have worked in me out in South Africa (because it is) and made sure to note that it is so important to take time to process everything we worked on, saw, and did because then it will benefit me, and possibly/hopefully other people for the rest of my life.
[Here in my journal for some reason I decided to document the rest of the day after camp got out and most all of Tuesday, but it doesn't seem to hold much value so you readers won't have to be concerned with it haha.]
**I'm finding it hard to even know how to process everything right now...!
8/29: 2 of the past 3 nights I have only slept under/with my SA airlines blanket... Coincidence? Maybe. Sub-conscience something? Possibly. [SA airlines blanket = the background for the picture below.]
8/30:
Word Association: South Africa
(more like "thought process")
36 +1/2 hours of travel later, we're home. Sunday night I got home around 8:30 - 9, showered, tried to eat dinner (fresh salad, bratwurst, grilled zucchini), checked facebook, then was "sleeping like a dead person" by 10:40 and didn't wake up once till 6a Monday morning for work [work = CYT summer camp Area Coordinator(talk to parents and keep everything running smooth and give kids band aids, etc]. Yep, the plan was to bounce right back. Hahah. Went to work at 8, talked with Jenni Hoag about the impact of "missionary trip shell shock" regarding the level of poverty in Freedom Park (much less any 3rd world country)(I mentioned the story of the moms pawning off their 3 year olds), I don't think she'd heard that one before, but I don't remember her exact reaction. We also talked about how eager I am to go back, or go somewhere new, to serve. She thinks it's crazy-awesome how much God seems to have worked in me out in South Africa (because it is) and made sure to note that it is so important to take time to process everything we worked on, saw, and did because then it will benefit me, and possibly/hopefully other people for the rest of my life.
[Here in my journal for some reason I decided to document the rest of the day after camp got out and most all of Tuesday, but it doesn't seem to hold much value so you readers won't have to be concerned with it haha.]
**I'm finding it hard to even know how to process everything right now...!
8/29: 2 of the past 3 nights I have only slept under/with my SA airlines blanket... Coincidence? Maybe. Sub-conscience something? Possibly. [SA airlines blanket = the background for the picture below.]
8/30:
Welcome to the only page of my sketch pad you'll most likely ever see.
Word Association: South Africa
(more like "thought process")
- Yes.
Move in June?- Start (mission work) with YWAM? ---> focus on: child ministry, child development, child psychology --> forever?
- I feel like I should moce to Rustenburg. This idea makes me feel like crying, except it is good. I don't know why I have this urge... but I don't feel like if it is going to happen in June, then June can't + won't come fast enough
- I would like to do this :) God is too good to put this on my heart and not provide the means for it to happen. My heart is with South Africa. My heart is for South Africa. My Heart is in South Africa.
- South Africa: sounds lonely...
- South Africa: keeps me awake at night
- South Africa: seems all I think about most of the time, even being home 22 days + processing all I have from the trip so far...
- South Africa: (Congo)(Africa)sounds scary -- 200 women + 4 babies raped?!
- Anything that happens is for God's glory
- South Africa: sounds perfect!
29 January, 2011
Homeward Bound (pt 2)
Days 13-14; August 7th-8th 2010 - The Atlantic, apparently about to fly over Bermuda
Somewhere in the 2nd half of the 16 + 1/2 hour flight
The male flight attendant came down the aisle closing all the window shutters - at freaking SUNRISE!! Since people were sleeping I GUESS it makes sense, at first. But I sneaked [at ?:?? after 10ish hours of flying you'd forget that the correct word to use here is "snuck" too...] a couple peeks out my window with my camera & today's sunrise was FREAKING BEAUTIFUL! I don't understand why Chris barked at me for having my window cover open half way (if even). It was bright out, but crazy beautiful and he didn't understand that I wasn't planning on leaving it open... If he reads this then I guess he WILL. haha.
(some amount of time later)
We have 2 hours and 58 minutes till we get to New York and there is a baby on the flight. I've either had music or a movie this whole time so far so it isn't an issue for me, but Janelle, Jeremy, Chris, and Kristy man... They keep turning around to look at the baby with annoyance, just hoping it'll quite down long enough for everyone to sleep. The mom has most likely been awake with it longer than any of us have though!
It is taking all I still have in me not to:
1. Peek out a small crack I could make under my window blind
2. Snap at a few of the team members before landing in Denver (but probably same with them towards me)
Security in Jo'burg to get on the plane was intense!
mental note: look up muslimsforpeace.com (it was on someone's shirt or something)
Laguardia Layover --- which was extended twice (from 3p to 4:25p)
I did the "tourist-y" thing and bought a I (heart) NY t-shirt! It is green & makes me happy (& I got good coffee, which also helped the layover...)
Went to "drinks" with
Deb Janelle Sean Jeremy
-----------------------------------
|_____________________|
Kristy Me Charles
(that was a diagram of the table and who sat where, beteedubs)
This is when Jer told me again that he won't be surprised if this journal ends up being a NY #1 best seller (but he hasn't even read it) because I'm always adding to it. Then there was a talk about how they don't like that I'm always writing because it makes them self-conscience. They flatter themselves ;)
Cathy is sooo beat tired! I can hear it in her voice and it is all over her...face... and so are tears?! =(
(just after I wrote this I went and checked on her and apparently she'd just learned that her grandma had died the day before)
Taking off from New York.
Finally - it wouldn't've been so bad if we could've known it would've been such a long layover because then we would've been able to adventure the city a bit & I would've been able to hang out with Amy Pierce (who apparently lives really close to Laguardia!) :(
As we all heard a man's voice stream through the overhead speaker informing us about the movie being played (Oceans), I was looking out the window[shocker, right?]. Off in the distance I saw one of New York's skylines - I think Manhattan. I would've taken a picture, but the timing with take off wasn't right -- story of this trip home *pout*. The city was softly back lit with light pink, light orange, and white tones. It was something you wouldn't normally expect to see in New York - understated, soft spoken...ness. The next time the man spoke I looked out my window again. With any city life far, far beneath us, all that was visible was clouds. These clouds were the picture definition of the place called "Utopia" - as cliche' as it may sound. The first image that came to mind was free falling from this little window, back first, with a big smile on my face and 100% carefree! The clouds appear softer, more fluffy, animated, and lively than those on toilet paper commercials. Just by watching one clump of "vanilla cotton candy" for a minute I saw 11 different images ranging from a puppy to a lobster to a boot. The picture I shot of it [above] does not come close to reality of how pretty it was...
(Some time later)
What if God brought me on this trip to plant/instill the idea in my mind that one of the best possibilities for me to learn patience + people skills + diligence would be to work on a long term project in Freedom Park? Derek, Rebecca, Lincoln, and Jenny (along with other YWAM team members) have gone in to work there but after some time they realized/felt like they were working for nothing because they were trying to get results quickly instead of long term/big pictures [according to Lincoln]. I don't know what 20 year project Lincoln keeps referring to about that place but if it is God' plan for me to go work in Freedom Park (or anywhere) for 20 years of my life, I'll go do it in a h(e)artbeat! [I'm not insinuating that I do not believe they are all there doing His will.]
... Home!
I wish that I hadn't been too tired to get a picture with my welcome team [mom, Johanna, & Kevin(who claimed the first 2 hugs before I'd even gotten off the plane)]...
NOTE:
Anything I publish after this post is what I've written since being home. I think everything has dates, so check them because they won't be consecutive like the actual journal was. PS: Thanks for continuing to read! :)
Somewhere in the 2nd half of the 16 + 1/2 hour flight
The male flight attendant came down the aisle closing all the window shutters - at freaking SUNRISE!! Since people were sleeping I GUESS it makes sense, at first. But I sneaked [at ?:?? after 10ish hours of flying you'd forget that the correct word to use here is "snuck" too...] a couple peeks out my window with my camera & today's sunrise was FREAKING BEAUTIFUL! I don't understand why Chris barked at me for having my window cover open half way (if even). It was bright out, but crazy beautiful and he didn't understand that I wasn't planning on leaving it open... If he reads this then I guess he WILL. haha.
(some amount of time later)
We have 2 hours and 58 minutes till we get to New York and there is a baby on the flight. I've either had music or a movie this whole time so far so it isn't an issue for me, but Janelle, Jeremy, Chris, and Kristy man... They keep turning around to look at the baby with annoyance, just hoping it'll quite down long enough for everyone to sleep. The mom has most likely been awake with it longer than any of us have though!
It is taking all I still have in me not to:
1. Peek out a small crack I could make under my window blind
2. Snap at a few of the team members before landing in Denver (but probably same with them towards me)
Security in Jo'burg to get on the plane was intense!
- Normal security, but not intense at all -- my bag was opened and browsed through though
- Gender-segregated frisking lines
- Another bag/carry on search
- Passport check
- Ticket check
- "Here is a plastic card with a number on it. Carry it down the loading ramp and give it to that man 150 ft in"
- Ticket checkers to tell you which way to go to your seat (standard)
- When we stopped in Dakar (after the first 8 hour flight) to switch some staff/passengers out, everyone had to go grab their carry-ons from up above & whatever wasn't claimed was gotten rid of in case in was a bomb or something
mental note: look up muslimsforpeace.com (it was on someone's shirt or something)
Laguardia Layover --- which was extended twice (from 3p to 4:25p)
I did the "tourist-y" thing and bought a I (heart) NY t-shirt! It is green & makes me happy (& I got good coffee, which also helped the layover...)
Went to "drinks" with
Deb Janelle Sean Jeremy
-----------------------------------
|_____________________|
Kristy Me Charles
(that was a diagram of the table and who sat where, beteedubs)
This is when Jer told me again that he won't be surprised if this journal ends up being a NY #1 best seller (but he hasn't even read it) because I'm always adding to it. Then there was a talk about how they don't like that I'm always writing because it makes them self-conscience. They flatter themselves ;)
Cathy is sooo beat tired! I can hear it in her voice and it is all over her...face... and so are tears?! =(
(just after I wrote this I went and checked on her and apparently she'd just learned that her grandma had died the day before)
Taking off from New York.
Finally - it wouldn't've been so bad if we could've known it would've been such a long layover because then we would've been able to adventure the city a bit & I would've been able to hang out with Amy Pierce (who apparently lives really close to Laguardia!) :(
As we all heard a man's voice stream through the overhead speaker informing us about the movie being played (Oceans), I was looking out the window[shocker, right?]. Off in the distance I saw one of New York's skylines - I think Manhattan. I would've taken a picture, but the timing with take off wasn't right -- story of this trip home *pout*. The city was softly back lit with light pink, light orange, and white tones. It was something you wouldn't normally expect to see in New York - understated, soft spoken...ness. The next time the man spoke I looked out my window again. With any city life far, far beneath us, all that was visible was clouds. These clouds were the picture definition of the place called "Utopia" - as cliche' as it may sound. The first image that came to mind was free falling from this little window, back first, with a big smile on my face and 100% carefree! The clouds appear softer, more fluffy, animated, and lively than those on toilet paper commercials. Just by watching one clump of "vanilla cotton candy" for a minute I saw 11 different images ranging from a puppy to a lobster to a boot. The picture I shot of it [above] does not come close to reality of how pretty it was...
(Some time later)
What if God brought me on this trip to plant/instill the idea in my mind that one of the best possibilities for me to learn patience + people skills + diligence would be to work on a long term project in Freedom Park? Derek, Rebecca, Lincoln, and Jenny (along with other YWAM team members) have gone in to work there but after some time they realized/felt like they were working for nothing because they were trying to get results quickly instead of long term/big pictures [according to Lincoln]. I don't know what 20 year project Lincoln keeps referring to about that place but if it is God' plan for me to go work in Freedom Park (or anywhere) for 20 years of my life, I'll go do it in a h(e)artbeat! [I'm not insinuating that I do not believe they are all there doing His will.]
... Home!
I wish that I hadn't been too tired to get a picture with my welcome team [mom, Johanna, & Kevin(who claimed the first 2 hugs before I'd even gotten off the plane)]...
NOTE:
Anything I publish after this post is what I've written since being home. I think everything has dates, so check them because they won't be consecutive like the actual journal was. PS: Thanks for continuing to read! :)
27 January, 2011
Homeward Bound (pt1)
Day 12 - 1 page. I decided today that I have to marry a South African -- they are SO beautiful & have accents to DIE for!!
On the way to/at the Johannesburg airport.
"I hate Lady Gaga!" - Sean (out of nowhere)
"Hahah, where did that come from?!" -Everybody in the van
"She is just stupid! 'Ale-Ale-Alejandro'? Really? How does she make money off that?!" - Sean
Sean was complaining about almost every aspect of life while we were waiting for people to pay at the counter in "Out of Africa" (a tourist shop in the airport in Jo'burg) - specifically about being hungry, people being slow, stupid goats, being super tired, and people were picking on his hairstyle... Really, Sean, what were you seeing the past two weeks?! haha.
The on-site shelter pastor (Mr. Khumalo) & his wife + their son gave us a really sweet card right before we packed up to head out today...
*"MAY YOUR OBEDIENCE REMAIN OUR TURNING POINT TO CHRIST" (they wrote in caps, maybe just to make it look nice I dunno, but that was one of my favorite parts of their card)
*II Corinthians 9: 11-15 (NIV) 11 You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. 12 This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 13 Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. 14 And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. 15 Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!
Airport dinners in SA = high class: chicken curry with rice, green beans, and sweet potatoes...
Flight.
Sitting next to (Kristy) Murdock; Our captain is named "McYork"
I couldn't get a shot of the sunset because it was happening right when we were checking bags, but what I caught of it was AMAZING!! The sight from my window as we took off from the airport in Jo'burg of the downtown night lights is most likely my new FAVORITE sight ever!! [Even now months later I'm sad that I'm such a rule-follower and didn't sneak out my camera to get a shot of it... :( ] It was sooo Beautiful (that's right, with a capital "b")!
On this flight I watched Date Night and slept and wrote during the first 8 hours (to Dakar) then the Sex & the City movie somewhere during the second.
On the way to/at the Johannesburg airport.
"I hate Lady Gaga!" - Sean (out of nowhere)
"Hahah, where did that come from?!" -Everybody in the van
"She is just stupid! 'Ale-Ale-Alejandro'? Really? How does she make money off that?!" - Sean
Sean was complaining about almost every aspect of life while we were waiting for people to pay at the counter in "Out of Africa" (a tourist shop in the airport in Jo'burg) - specifically about being hungry, people being slow, stupid goats, being super tired, and people were picking on his hairstyle... Really, Sean, what were you seeing the past two weeks?! haha.
The on-site shelter pastor (Mr. Khumalo) & his wife + their son gave us a really sweet card right before we packed up to head out today...
*"MAY YOUR OBEDIENCE REMAIN OUR TURNING POINT TO CHRIST" (they wrote in caps, maybe just to make it look nice I dunno, but that was one of my favorite parts of their card)
*II Corinthians 9: 11-15 (NIV) 11 You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. 12 This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. 13 Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. 14 And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. 15 Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!
Airport dinners in SA = high class: chicken curry with rice, green beans, and sweet potatoes...
Flight.
She was stoked to come home but was uber stressed about Thempi (catch 22)
& I just wasn't ready to leave :(
I couldn't get a shot of the sunset because it was happening right when we were checking bags, but what I caught of it was AMAZING!! The sight from my window as we took off from the airport in Jo'burg of the downtown night lights is most likely my new FAVORITE sight ever!! [Even now months later I'm sad that I'm such a rule-follower and didn't sneak out my camera to get a shot of it... :( ] It was sooo Beautiful (that's right, with a capital "b")!
On this flight I watched Date Night and slept and wrote during the first 8 hours (to Dakar) then the Sex & the City movie somewhere during the second.
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